Subscription to Salvation

What do you know,
this fellow who just knocked
on my door has a magazine
full of recipes for salvation.
I never knew if I was saved
or not and it’s a little late
for me to start worrying now.
He said I should be reborn
but I don’t know, we’re
getting along pretty well,
paid the property taxes last week,
had the old bus tuned up for winter.
Just the Missus and me, the kids
have all flown the coop. We have
a highball before dinner, eat at
the Club on Friday nights, watch
football on Sunday p.m.—I don’t know
what I want to be reborn as.
I tried to make a little joke and said
I’d probably be reborn as a garter snake
and chase the girls out of
the strawberry patch. But he
gave me a sour look and walked away.
I’m sorry now I wasn’t more polite
and let him finish saving me.