The Supermarket's Secret Machine

Today my wife sent me to the
supermarket because she was busy
potting geraniums. That’s how I
discovered the hidden scrambler
supermarkets have that makes a
shambles of your shopping list.
I have wondered (without comment)
at some of the packages that
appear on our kitchen table from
time to time. But now I understand.
It happened to me. Sometime,
somewhere after you enter the
store a secret exchange is made
between the shopping list you
thought you had and the one you
end with. The substitution takes
place with no discomfort to you
except a sudden lack of confidence
in your faculties. Like one of those
machines that scrambles codes,
you find that what you bought
does not jibe with what you were
sent for. My wife said it was written
plain, ‘‘toilet paper and detergent.’’
I came home with a box of fresh
mushrooms, a steak, and an avocado pear.